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Racing Through Midlife

Start here · by Michelle

Today is the day to start

In one year from now, can you look back at today and know your decision to do something hard is the day that changed your life?

The ladder, in the order we climbed it

  1. 018.15 milesGreat Aloha RunFor years this was the longest either of us had run, and there's nothing wrong with staying here a while.
  2. 0213.1 milesHibiscus Half, May 2022Our first half, and the day the marathon stopped being hypothetical.
  3. 0326.2 milesHonolulu Marathon, December 2022For Jay's 50th. He'd never wanted one, but Michelle put it on a birthday and that was that.
  4. 04Olympic triHonolulu Triathlon, May 2023The same race we'd done in 2014, this time with training, and where you find out whether you like the sport or just the idea of it.
  5. 0570.3IRONMAN 70.3 Hawaii, June 2023A hard course on purpose, on the theory that if Jay could get through a half in the lava he could get through one anywhere.
  6. 06112 milesDick Evans, August 2023A lap of Oahu, the same ride the first Ironman used in 1978, which meant doing the bike leg on its own before a swim and a marathon got attached to it.
  7. 072.4 milesWaikiki Roughwater Swim, September 2023The 1978 Ironman swim on its own, with no bike waiting afterward. Jay 1:50:49, Michelle 2:02:27.
  8. 08140.6IRONMAN Texas, April 2025Only after every rung above was done, and never part of the plan until a hurricane canceled a 70.3 and IRONMAN offered a full instead. It took a season with a bedtime attached, and then we did it again in October.

Earliest to most recent. Nine years from rung one to rung seven, and most of them were spent on rung one.

This is our story: how Michelle, 42, and Jay, 49, decided to step outside their comfort zones and take on an unexpected challenge. A lighthearted suggestion to run the Honolulu Marathon for Jay's 50th birthday quickly grew into something more, setting us on a path neither of us anticipated. A life filled with incredible adventures, amazing community and confidence to know we can overcome doubt and discomfort because we can carry more than we once believed.

Who this is for

Honestly, we're just telling our story, but we hope to inspire others along the way. Racing Through Midlife isn't only for those 40 years old and up, but for anyone wanting to try something new, doesn't know where to start or needs just a little direction and motivation.

We've never used a physical coach and have learned everything the hard way... still learning through trial and error. We're definitely not experts, not doctors, not trainers, just two friends finding our own path and having fun together.

What we did

We didn't start with a triathlon, we started with a run we could already finish. For years the longest either of us ran was the Great Aloha Run, 8.15 miles from Aloha Tower to the stadium on Presidents' Day. It has a huge field, a real start-line atmosphere, and a distance long enough to be respectable that a beginner can usually achieve with little training. We did that race, and not much else, for a long time, and staying on that one rung for years wasn't a failure, it was just the rung we were on.

The thing that finally changed was a date. In December 2021 Michelle watched the Honolulu Marathon and said we should run it the next year for Jay's 50th. Jay had never wanted a marathon and didn't like running, but now there was a date, a person he didn't want to let down, and twelve months to get ready.

So we built to the next rung: we signed up for the Honolulu Marathon Readiness Series and also other races along the way, including the Hibiscus Half Marathon. This was crucial to build confidence on our path to the marathon. Not only did we get to increase our run mileage with a community, but this also helped fundamentally build the steppingstones needed to tackle the impossible.

I think this rung was the most important step along the way. We developed a race morning routine, understood what race-morning jitters felt like and knew what we needed to get to the finish line confidently. This was actually a lot of fun to see what we could achieve and how hard we could push our bodies for the first time.

What mattered most

Showing up is the obvious answer, but not for us. Getting into a routine mattered more. We went from couch potatoes to CrossFit twice a week. We thought we were doing exactly what we should. But our waistlines told us the truth. After an honest conversation with ourselves and each other, we knew we needed to do more. That is one of the biggest reasons Michelle suggested doing the marathon.

We also had help at this moment in our lives. Our CrossFit coach threw out a challenge: Whole30. Eat whole foods for 30 days, be held accountable and support each other during these hard times... 30 days, how hard can it be? It. Was. Hard! I think giving up sugar cold turkey is what made it hard, but that's exactly what we needed. The weight melted off and we learned the fundamentals of nutrition.

We got into the routine of getting up at 4:30 every morning, CrossFit three times a week and running on the days we weren't working out. This was the biggest change we made to our lives thus far. Definitely wasn't perfect but this set us on the right path. Something as simple as setting an alarm was exactly what we needed!

First steps

What should matter? So far everything has been about our first year, starting from nothing to achieving things we didn't think were possible. But here's a list of things we've learned throughout the last four years... this list is far from complete!

  • Sign up for something scary! Sign up for your mountain a year in advance. Once you've signed up for something, paid for it and made the decision to accomplish it, you will achieve it!
  • Be sure you have the love and support of friends and family around you. Jay and I are unique, we do this together. With most of our friends, only one partner has these goals. When training for big events, it's so incredibly important that the family unit is onboard! Training will take up a lot of time, especially on the weekends.
  • Understand your whole body! This is a wormhole and if you achieve it... Holy Grail! Everything you do affects this. From sleep, the food you eat, stretching, strength training, hydration, carb intake, protein, post workout, nightly routine... I can go on and on... I'll probably create a page solely for this subject!
  • Coaching. Jay and I subscribe to Humango.AI. We've been using this app for the last few years with great success. The only downside to an AI app for training is: no feedback on form, no nutritional advice and no motivation or accountability. For running form, we went to a physical therapist for a run gait analysis, which corrected our running form. We research the right fuel for us and we're able to motivate each other enough to stick with it.
  • Equipment. The absolute best equipment we've ever purchased is... the Garmin Tacx bike trainer with Zwift and Rouvy subscriptions. Especially with triathlons, the race is a swim warm up, bike race and a run cooldown (I'm sure some will disagree but this is my story). The bike portion is everything! For us, riding outside on the street isn't the safest, but we needed to get the time in the saddle. This combination was crucial! This also made us stronger runners!
  • Routine. For me, I can't stress enough the routine. Once you set a routine, it's so much less complicated to stick with it. Go on autopilot and do what you know you should without thinking about it!
  • Gear. Another rabbit hole is gear. I'm not even going to pretend I know anything about this. All I can say is what we're currently using.
    • Tri-suit kit, both of us: Zoot sleeveless
    • Sports bra: Champion racerback
    • Goggles: Jay, Zionor. Chelle, Snake and Pig Jr. Defogger, Stream2Sea.
    • Wetsuit: Jay, Zoot Wikiwiki with sleeves and a sleeveless Xterra. Chelle, Xterra with sleeves and a sleeveless Xterra. Both of us, Zoot swim skin.
    • Bike: Jay, Cervelo P3 (purchased from a friend). Chelle, Parlee (Facebook Marketplace, from an IM superstar).
    • Helmet: Jay, SL3S with attachable visor. Chelle, Amazon youth helmet and TriEye.
    • Saddle: Jay, ISM PR3.0. Chelle, Selle Italia SLR Superflow.
    • Bike shoes: Jay, Shimano. Chelle, Louis Garneau with Crankbrothers.
    • Running shoes, both of us: On Cloudmonster

Train for your race conditions

If you live in a colder climate and signed up for a race in hot and humid weather, you need to prepare! I thought training in Hawaii and having a race in dry, cool conditions would be ideal... I ended up being in a world of hurt, shivering and pain that I mentally had to dig deep to overcome. I eventually did... but man, I was miserable! Facebook groups for a specific race can be a great resource to fully understanding what to expect for race conditions and advice.

Hard truths

Every training day is different. No matter where you are in your fitness, beginner, advanced or anywhere in between, every day is different! I believe training for an event is 30% effort and 70% mental. The mental aspect will sneak up on you if you let it! You can go from having an amazing workout to being gobsmacked the next day. How you prepare yourself mentally will carry you over the finish line. Just remember, no matter the event, no matter the distance, no matter the conditions, being mentally tough will prevail!

Where to go from here